Three Mothers
by Nekoi Kurona
Summary: Yarai's thoughts as he watches Sensei start to get worse with her internal bleeding problems.


He had three mothers. Two of them died and one of them is dying. It was as if his existence was a sin; so putrid that it rotted off all the pure innocent people around him.

He had three mothers. They cared about him even when he pushed them away to protect them before they fall. He couldn't let anyone in his life.

Because everyone who was… died.

…

His first mother was innocent. A happy, young woman whose presence felt like the sun. So warm, so brilliant, so heavenly. He could remember always smiling brightly with her. She was his everything.

Every day, they would walk together. He would help her carry the groceries, do the chores, and enjoy basking in her gentle light.

He didn't remember ever frowning or feeling any negative emotions at that beautiful, but ephemeral time. He didn't remember ever fighting like he did now.

No blood, no evil, no darkness…

Just light… Pure white light…

All he could remember was a loud laugh of glee from a boy and the tender, motherly laugh from the woman.

But all that changed.

She was taken away from him by the darkness of the world. To a place where he could not follow or see her beauty.

And with that, he changed.

He fought against the world and tried following her in the dark.

That day when she disappeared, she was covered in blood and dust. Ever since then, he was too. Blood from harming those around him that still had light. Dirt from clawing the earth—trying to reach for her hand once again.

But mostly blood.

Why was it that she was dead and the world was still living? She was his life, his light, his world… But why was the world still continuing as if nothing had happened?

Every single time he saw those peaceful smiles; he couldn't help but pound them in. Why are they allowed to live? Why can they smile?

And thus, he became known as a delinquent, as a crude monster…

…

His second mother was kind. A bit eccentric, but all the more kind… In a way, she was like the moon. And like how the moon reflects the sun's light, he was often reminded of his first mother when he saw her.

Bright, warm, and happy… Just like the sun.

And like how the moon and the sun are two different things, they were too. She was a Yankee compared to his innocent, nice mother. She was a bit rough and energetic and weird…

But he thought of her as his mother as time went on. She cared for him when no one else did. She dared approach his dirty existence with her warm light and taught him the meaning of life again.

The meaning of happiness…

And also of how the world had both good and bad qualities. And that despite the bad qualities, the world was beautiful.

He could remember smiling again; it wasn't the pure one that he had as a child. No, instead, the smiles that he had were more awkward and mature…

But they were smiles of happiness all the same.

With his second mother, he could feel the light and warmth of the sun again. The darkness receded from his life.

His hands became less and less tainted by blood and his existence became less and less bad. Life wasn't as empty either.

But once again, all that was changed.

She, too, was taken away from him by the darkness of the world. To a place where he could not follow or see her beauty.

And with that, he once again changed.

With his source of happiness and light taken, he did the only thing that he knew how to do. Fight.

So once again, his hands were covered with blood… But not dust this time. He knew better. He knew that he could not reach her and see her once again, no matter how hard he dug. She was gone… Forever.

And this time, he distanced himself from light, from smiles, and from happiness. He would no longer dirty them or rot their existence with his dirty body. His existence was a sin.

Anyone who went near him died.

He became a cold-blooded, cruel wolf.

…

His third mother was annoying. Like the stars at that are always there to watch over you and guide you to the right path.

No matter how many times he tried avoiding her light, it comes back and follows him again. Always nagging like an overprotective mother…

But he can't have another mother. It was a sin to be around him…

And those that did died.

But she always followed him and made him stop fighting and soon his hands weren't covered with blood anymore…

And soon he started to feel his lips curl up into slight smiles…

And soon he started to feel her light and the meaning of life…

No, he shouldn't be doing this. His existence was a sin.

But he did anyways.

He enjoyed her presence and smiles…

He couldn't help, but think of her as his mother;

She was bright, cheerful, kind, and innocent.

…

Yarai stared at the unconscious woman. Her face was red with fever.

They couldn't save her.

He stared, but didn't hold her hand to comfort her.

It will only worsen if he holds it. Anything he touches always withers away…

Once again, his peace was ending…

Sensei was dying and it was probably all his fault…

He stared at her pained being and only one word was in his head:

Why?


End file.
